The month of May is full of expectations and joyous revelry. There are emotion filled holidays such as May Day, Mother’s Day, Memorial Day, and Cinco De Mayo celebrations to name a few. I kept thinking, I must write something about the feelings that come from being a Mother on Mother’s Day. But I was so filled with gratitude and joy at the respect and honorings my family gives me…that I couldn’t put it in words. I was also feeling a little sadness about the fact that my own Mother was passed on to the Heavens many years ago and once again I could not celebrate this day with her. I did celebrate it FOR her though, by having tearful conversations in my heart with her about the wonderful family I have that she would be so proud to know. And thanks to some considerate discussions with an older cousin of mine over the years, we know more things about and are proud of achievements made by my Mom that was not previously shared or remembered.
Memorial Day is special in our family for many reasons. We try to honor our loved ones that passed on by taking my Dad to dress & clean up grave sites of our dear family members. It is an act that is important to him, so we give him that time and attention. As we are also a military family, we honor our military past and our veteran military family members, which my Dad is one. After cemetery duties, this year we all went to Dad’s favorite eating spot and had a great time among his eating community and friends.
So all in all, May brings out memories and emotions for us all. And that is good for the soul.
Building Trust with Love requires steps and patience. We are born trusting that our nourishment and needs will always be freely given by our loved ones and providers. And we trust in this blindly. Because we know no better…yet. As we age and formulate in our minds how the hand to mouth thing really works, we learn manipulation techniques. Babies learn that crying begets attention, which most of the times, begets food, nourishment and love. Toddlers learn that behavior begets attention also, but in a variety of ways. So they test us with different behaviors, and they learn. And thus we learn to trust in others to react and behave in ways that we can shape. Teens and young adults start to widen their circle of trust and dependence on others outside of the immediate family and caring world as they enter school and interact with others. Even as adults we continue to give a certain trust to learned-about authority figures and other learned trust-worthy sources, such as written materials and documents.
As I worked on a project that involved establishing seedlings for my herb garden, I read the trusted source of directions included and I felt that by following exact steps listed that I would get my results (the attention of grown herbs). I have to admit that after following the step by step process a few times, I then began to manipulate the steps the way I wanted to, expecting that now I know what I’m doing and can modify my behavior to just ad lib. I still kept the instructions close by though, so I could fall back to them if needed.
Our children will behave in this same pattern as they grow and learn to trust their own instincts, based on the instructions that you provide them early on. They will start to ad lib in their behaviors and try to trust their own guts (and sometimes their peers). Thankfully they will also keep your instructions close by (in their heads) and be able to fall back upon them, if their paths grow shaky or they just need the comfort of relying on your most trust worthy words of advice and comfort seeds of love. Don’t be short on supplying these seeds of comfort. We want to be mindful potters that mold our children into strong beings, with loving characteristics, and instructional steps for doing the right thing.
My Peace to the Universe!
What is your parenting style? There was never any question for me about my style. It was an extension of my own childhood (my father was a career military man), and what I thought was best for my own family situation at the time. We have to face the fact, that we as parents, have to make a decision of what will be best for our individual family.
Read what is shared at the article link below about four parenting styles:
My style is located in the upper right side, as I knew it would be, and it worked for me. It takes my now grown children to tell the tales of how their childhood was not like some of their peers. They were not able to watch some of the same “mindless” but mind shaping TV shows that their classmates watched, couldn’t listen to the some of the same music and couldn’t go some of the same places to hang out as the others. I kept a very tight reign on their activities and to this day I do not regret any of it. As a matter of fact, they laugh about it now and actually thank me for being the Mom from Cray-Cray.
In these frightful times of today, where our youth run fast and free, I encourage you to please keep your children close (even though they will resist) and do not let them out of your sight for long periods. They do not understand the evil that lurks close by and they just won’t pay attention to red flags as you, the ever watchful Parent should! They are too busy enjoying LIFE and we have to recognize that it’s where their heads are. Even in the animal kingdom, mama whales keep their young right at their sides, as they teach about the dangers of the seas. Mama birds literally place the correct nourishment into the mouths and minds of their young chicks until they are grown. In wolf pack families, it’s the Male wolf that protects his young, provides the food and teaches them how to become part of the wolf pack. We must be as diligent with our young ones. Lead and teach. Nature is a great model!
Sending Peaceful and Positive energy out to the Universe!
Caring for another is an innate ability that all animals have at one level or another. We all have the desire to be part of groupings and to belong, thus we form communities and families. Some animals’ nurturing time frames have short cycles and others have longer ones. As humans, we mostly enjoy and build upon our nurturing cycles as we ourselves mature. Admittedly some do resist the desire to take care of another. This message is for those looking to advance their knowledge and wisdom in this area. I would like to share not only my own opinions about this important responsibility of “molding” and loving others, but the opinions of others that I myself find uplifting.
Shared words of Kahlil Gibran, (from the book The Prophet):
“Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself. They come through you but not from you. And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you. You may give them your love, but not your thoughts. For they have their own thoughts… You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth. The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might, that His arrows may go swift and far. Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness. For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.”
Powerful Words take Root in the space that they are thrown into.
Words are strong image makers. We all make choices when we pick the words we use in our daily conversations. Curse words, negative words, and hurtful words are damaging. Compassionate words, positive words and nurturing words are strength builders and universe binders.
Yes, it does take some effort to think before you utter sounds (words), but it is so necessary when you have accepted responsibility of having and raising a child. You accepted the unwritten terms of our universe, to be a good “potter”, molding with love and respect. It’s a very big deal!
The words our children hear us using on a daily basis impacts the decisions they make when they begin to utter sounds also. Do they pull from a bank of appropriate and kind words and descriptions, or do they pull from ragged and hateful words and descriptions. What are you filling their ears with?
Remember, we are molding and impacting impressionable little people. Help their brain cells develop firmly from positive words, positive energy, and love. C’mon people, we can do this.
Posted with a humongous Universal Hug!
Just as the potter works hard at his wheel, so must we as parents never cease our toil. We may have to change the pressure from our hands, from time to time, or redirect the gaze of our eyes, and even shift slightly in our stance and posture, but ever molding and molding… until the desired outcome begins to take shape and be apparent. Is this the vessel we want to put out into the Universe? Or should we add another pinch here or tuck there? Even then we keep tweaking the final vessel with adoring and loving touches all over. Keep in mind that “positive energy” is what we want to use to affect the vessel’s aura and being. And trust that love that pours out from the potter’s hands remains embedded within that vessel for all eternity, unable to be disengaged. The attention to our molding job is a priority, not to be taken lightly. Have a good day in the Universe!
The precious objects of my attention for this blog, is our children. We learn as parents that not only do we have the awesome responsibility of nourishing and leading, but we also are the lead designers of our children’s first images of self and worth. What kind of image are you building up? Sometimes we are not even aware of how deeply our actions and communications are burned into the thoughts of a child. Just like your brain goes through recaps of your daily activities, during down time, so does that of your child. Let’s help these recap moments be ones filled with strong identity and love.